Friday, September 17, 2010

The Pope's Rhino
















"Since God has given us the Papacy, let us enjoy it." Leo X


Blue-eyed, blonde haired
choirboys gather
trembling beneath
Benedict’s golden banner.
Little girls squeal
to see such fun
as the priests feel
their way in a daze
through the faithful,
hearts overflowing with praise.

Today I heard the story how
From Gujerat to Portugal,
Ganda the rhino
survived three months at sea,
being gifted by the great Sultan,
then toyed with by a bored king
until he turned his horned back
on mortal combat
with the monarch’s pet jumbo.
So, clad in green velvet,
garlanded with flowers,
shackled to the deck,
amidst silver plate
and aromatic spices,
intended as a gift for Leo X,
he took to sea for the last time.

The Pope has an elephant in the room.
It goes by the name of Hando.
All that he lacks now
Is an armour-plated rhino.
This omission in the Great Plan
Will never, never, never do, oh no!

A divine wind
whipped up a storm
before La Spezia
and though Ganda could swim
the chains round his feet
ensured no salvation for him.
Then came the bad news they could not staunch -
Rotting carcass recovered on the beach near Villefranche.

Now the Church is in crisis
The warning bell rings
Too many have heard
What the chorister sings
There’s something amiss
In the great scheme of things.

Meanwhile, while you are waiting I am sure you would appreciate a good dose of aggressive secularism!

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