Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Trees of Wales Speak

It’s taken almost forty years
for our ‘liege lord’, Prince of Wales
to find himself a third, or is it fourth
home here, but even so, the hills
and valleys glisten with the slimy trails
left by loyal ‘locals’ as they queue
to offer credit, where none is due.

The English landlord of a nearby pub
rubs his hands raw with glee,
the mayor, toad-like, sits in his parlour,
quaffing real ale and offering opinions for free.
It’s great for trade and the economy
and if you’re looking for real proof,
house prices are going straight through the roof.

The Prince is paying for his new home
with a million of our money,
( My sides are splitting. It’s so funny. ),
so that one weekend in fifty two,
the royal coupling can stroll about, take in the view,
admire the progress of their pedigree flocks,
go hunting some unlucky fox,
go driving in their Chelsea tractors,
much to the delight of local benefactors.

Poor dab, he should have told us of his plight
and we’d have found a cheaper site,
like that boarded up crack house
on the Gurnos estate, a bit of a wreck, but then
all the family could chip in, help decorate
and before you know it, locals rally round,
Dai Needle, Jac Smack and their good mate,
Phil E, sound as a pound and dead creative.
A bit of plaster here, a dab of paint there
and soon the neighbours could come in to celebrate
right royally - fucking great!

He’s even been to university in Aber,
so with all his knowledge of Welsh language and history,
you’d think by now, he’d solved the mystery,
that not all men and women are his to hire
and when it comes to second homes in Wales,
there are sleeping giants you don’t want to wake,
for some dragons round here still breathe fire.

AOL News - "Prince Charles has bought a property in Wales that he intends to let when he is not there. Charles has opted for modest accommodation in the form of Llwywormwood farmhouse in the tiny West Wales hamlet of Myddfai, near Llandovery, Carmarthenshire.
But the three-bedroom property is located in the centre of its own 192- acre estate and reportedly cost at least £1million." Souvenir mugs ( illustrated ) are available from


  1. Nicely put, more second homers to screw up the economy.

  2. Humorously put, how does he have the bloody nerve!

  3. He's probably upset all his previous neighbours so has had to move, poor thing.

  4. "for some dragons round here still breathe fire."

    Indeed! Nicely done my friend!